What else would you add?
Yelling is something many parents struggle with and wish they did less of. Why do we yell? Here are a few possible reasons:
👉 Old patterns
👉 Last resort
👉 Unprocessed emotions
If we are prone to yelling and our child is not responding, it’s possible they’ve developed a defense against it in order to protect themselves. If there is no imminent danger, before you yell pause & notice what you’re experiencing.
Pausing may look like closing your eyes, taking an exaggerated deep breath (exhalation being longer than the inhalation), or walking away.
“I see the drawing on the wall and I’m experiencing some big feelings, I need a break. I will be right back.”
Then notice what you’re experiencing.
If you’re overwhelmed because your child has destroyed the room – that makes sense.
If you’re angry because your children keep fighting – that makes sense.
As we make sense of our own experiences we can return to our child and ask a question rather than yell. Or we may reflect on how we would have liked to have been approached when we were little in a similar situation.
Remember to care for yourselves, even if it means three minutes of deep breathing in the morning while you sit alone in the bathroom!
Coach Benjamin Mizrahi. Educator. Learning Specialist. Family Coach. Father. Husband.
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