Common Ways Parents Cause Confusion and Instability for Kids

October 31, 2023

Common Ways Parents Cause Confusion and Instability for Kids



Kids tend to have the ability to pick up on cues and details that we, as parents, are blind to. 

As parents, our priority lies with the well-being of our kids. It is no surprise that we don’t always follow through on what we preach to them. 

The reason for this is simple: 

We have higher standards for our kids than we have for ourselves. 

With parenting, consistency is key. To provide a stable environment for children, we have to stop holding them to double standards. These are 5 common things parents do that can cause instability for children: 


1) Unbalanced Screen Time Rules 

You may have strict screen time rules, or relatively lax views. Regardless, it should be standard across the board for the family. It is important to develop standards for the entire family to follow.  

Obviously, you may have to take an emergency call or text back a friend but limit the mindless games and social media-ing while you are spending time with your family. 


2) Don’t be a Gossip Girl 

As parents, we must demonstrate this by avoiding any gossip in front of our children. Initiate open discussions with your children about the harmful effects of rumors, bullying, and gossiping. 


3) End Threats and Empty Bribes 

Children don’t learn lessons from bribe-threat parenting. It is ineffective and causes confusion with children. 

The American Academy of Pediatrics (AAP) recommends disciplining with natural consequences. 

Although it may feel like more work in the beginning, children learn true lessons through natural consequences that they can rely on. 


4) Complaining About Responsibilities 

You can’t expect your children to jump out of bed every Monday morning with a rainbow of joy trailing behind them, eager to go to school if you express hatred towards your job. 

Similarly, you most likely won’t see their faces light up when you ask them to take out the trash if you talk about how laundry is the bane of your existence. Speak about your duties and responsibilities in positive ways.  


5) Respecting Family Members 

Kids will fight; however, as parents we are responsible for ensuring they respect each other, apologize, and find a way to work it out between them. 

To create a stable and consistent environment for your kids you must model the positive behavior that you want to see in them, open the lines of communication, and provide positive experiences to them. 



Coach Benjamin Mizrahi. Educator. Learning Specialist. Family Coach. Father. Husband.   

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