Discipline Your Child with Love Not Fear

June 14, 2024

Discipline Your Child with Love Not Fear



Discipline is an important and effective tool but use it in a way that keeps your child’s dignity intact. They need to understand the ways their actions affect other people, and which behaviors others will and won’t tolerate. 


Effective discipline requires guiding and redirecting your child with love, not fear. Here are some tips to help you discipline with love:  


  • Make corrections about learning rather than getting in trouble. Don't just tell your child not to run around with food in his mouth. Explain why this rule is important. Tell your child that it isn't safe because they could choke, and that your job is to help keep them from getting hurt. Make explanations short. Kids tune out of long-winded speeches. 

  • Yell less. Try to stay calm. Loving discipline requires us to keep a clear head so that we can talk to our children and reach their hearts as well as their ears. 

  • Teach your child healthy behavior habits. Be pro-active by working with your child to create a daily schedule and a list of responsibilities (including a chore chart). This gives them much-needed structure, and a chance to practice self-discipline by completing necessary tasks. 

  • Model good behavior. The more we model how to respond to disappointment, sadness, boredom, and not getting what we want, the more our children learn emotional discipline.

  • Acknowledge your child’s feelings. Your child may be angry and uncooperative because a playdate just ended. You can say, “I see you are feeling upset because Jack left, but you still need to pick up your train set.” 

  • Never hit, spank, shake, or slap your child. Fear-based discipline simply doesn’t work if you want to raise a healthy, well-adjusted child. 

  • Be logical about consequences. Issue consequences that make sense and are appropriate for the situation. And make sure they’re something you’re willing and able to follow through on. 

  • Hug often. Physical affection outside of discipline time is a crucial element of disciplining with love. And if you’ve established a bond of touch in your relationship with your child, it will be more natural to conclude your time of discipline with a reassuring and reconnecting hug. 


We want to inspire our children to gain our approval and that inspiration doesn’t come from fear. Rather, it comes from discipline that is positive and based on a respectful, healthy relationship between parent and child. 


How do you discipline your children with love? 



Coach Benjamin Mizrahi. Educator. Learning Specialist. Family Coach. Father. Husband.   

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