A child’s “talking back” or “bad attitude” is not indicative of their lack of respect.
A child can deeply love and revere their family and simply be expressing their overwhelming feelings or beliefs which would not seem so overwhelming if they felt free to share.
When we take attitudes personally, we miss out on the opportunity to grow and to help our children grow.
Seeking to understand and empathize sincerely is a vital skill to sustain healthy relationships.
When we model how to share our opinions and feelings respectfully, our children learn how to do the same.
Learning how to communicate respectfully takes maturity, practice, and a good example.
Conscious Communication may look something like this:
📚 Be present! Put down your phone or whatever you’re doing so you can focus.
📚 Breathe slowly. Remind yourself that you are both safe here.
Listen. Truly listen. Objectively.
📚 Look for an unmet need or limiting belief behind the behavior.
(Behind your child’s and your overwhelm)
📚 Sincerely care. Empathize with their emotions and Validate their experience.
📚 If you feel calm communicate your feelings or opinion clearly without using threats, shame, blame or criticism.
📚 If you don’t feel calm, ask to have some time to think.
📚 Problem solve. (This may mean you change your mind now that you have a better understanding, but it doesn’t mean going against your core values or intuition. Hold your boundary empathetically.)
📚 Reconnect. Find time to be together (Play, read, walk, create a meal or artwork together…. anything your child likes)
📚 Most times connection replaces the need for correction.