What to Do After You Yell at Your Toddler?
Positive parenting is a journey that takes not only practice and patience but the ability to shift from a fixed mindset to a growth mindset.
A fixed mindset is about seeing the qualities of yourself, your child, and all the circumstances around us as unable to change. Whereas a growth mindset is believing that things can change with time, effort, and persistence.
And once you make that shift to a growth mindset, you're able to expand your capacity to embrace challenges, to continue through obstacles, to learn from mistakes, to seek out inspiration and other successes instead of criticizing yourself for not measuring up. That's what's possible when we have a growth mindset inside of parenting.
So, when you're in the heat of the moment and react in a negative way to your toddler's behavior (like yelling or punishing), I invite you to be easy on yourself and understand that reacting that way doesn't make you a bad parent. That it isn't a permanent response to everything your child does in the future. That if you want to make a change, you CAN.
You always have the opportunity to repair a relationship by making amends.
Here's how:
1. Take Ownership by saying, “I felt frustrated and yelled at you.”
2. Acknowledge the impact and say, “How was it for you? Got it. You felt sad when mommy yelled.”
3. Apologize then say, “I’m sorry that wasn't my intention.”
4. Move forward by saying, “Next time, I’m going to step back and take 5 deep breaths.”
Avoid beating yourself up by remembering that you are human and allowed to make mistakes. Having a growth mindset can change your whole outlook and feelings about parenting a toddler.
Coach Benjamin Mizrahi. Educator. Learning Specialist. Family Coach. Father. Husband.
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