Why Praising Intelligence May Hold Kids Back – and What to Do Instead

Research shows that praising children for their intelligence can actually make them less likely to keep trying when faced with challenges.

On the other hand, giving meaningful and specific praise motivates children to learn from their mistakes. The key is to focus on developing their character strengths and helping them recognize their internal abilities. This not only builds confidence but also strengthens their resilience.

10 Ways to Help Children and Teens Learn from Mistakes

1. Acknowledge that you don’t expect them to be perfect.
2. Remind them that your love is unconditional, no matter their mistakes or lapses in judgment.
3. Don’t rescue them from mistakes — instead, guide them toward solutions.
4. Share examples of your own mistakes, the consequences, and the lessons learned.
5. Encourage them to take responsibility rather than blaming others.
6. Avoid bringing up past mistakes — stay focused on the current situation.
7. Praise them for having the courage to admit their mistakes.
8. Praise their efforts and determination to overcome setbacks.
9. Teach them how to apologize sincerely when their actions hurt others.
10. Help them see the positive side of making mistakes and learning from them.
    
    

Learning from mistakes and failures isn’t easy. Every child needs encouragement and positive words from parents, teachers, and mentors — especially during tough learning moments. This kind of support is essential for true growth and success.

Coach Benjamin Mizrahi
Educator • Learning Specialist • Family Coach • Father • Husband

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