Nurturing a Dysregulated Child

 

The next time you nurture a dysregulated child, pause and notice what happens.
Their breathing begins to slow.
Their heart rate decreases.
Their body softens as they move into a calmer biological and emotional state.

This is not accidental. It is the nervous system responding to safety.

How we respond most of the time builds resilience for the moments when we do not respond well, when we too are dysregulated. Parenting is not about perfection. It is about patterns.

When rupture happens, and it will, a sincere apology and a commitment to responding differently next time go a long way. Repair is one of the most powerful ways we teach children how relationships heal.

Emotional resilience grows in the presence of relational safety.

Many people struggle most when they feel alone in their emotions. When they have no one they trust to share their thoughts, dreams, fears, and mistakes with. When uncomfortable feelings are held in isolation, they become heavier.

Having a trustworthy and compassionate person to share your true feelings with can be life changing. In some cases, it can be lifesaving.

For children, parents and caregivers are meant to be that safe place. The place where they can empty their hurts and refill their love tank. Over time, it also makes sense for them to find other trusted adults and supports, learning how to develop peaceful practices and eventually become a safe place for themselves.

We all need spaces where we can release pain and receive care in ways that promote well-being.

And it is never too late to learn how.